Dream Date
By Andy Morris
Simon had come on this date armed with a number of anecdotes which he thought he’d successfully memorised but as he walked into the bar area of the luxurious Chewton Glen Country House Hotel, his mind went blank. He’d been matched with Jessica through DreamDate.com, an online dating service he’d only recently discovered. Jessica was beaming as she came over to him. Simon hesitantly introduced himself and felt his face turn red in a grand display of awkwardness. She didn’t seem to notice and she asked him how he was and whether he’d like a drink now or with the meal. Their table wouldn’t be ready for another ten minutes. In his mind, Simon had planned to get the first round in but she’d beaten him to it. He hadn’t been prepared for that but agreed anyway.
A moment later and Jessica turned around and passed him his champagne flute. The drink in his glass was fizzing a lot and he guessed this must be a sign of its quality. He didn’t drink much champagne. He took a big gulp to ease his suddenly dry throat while he tried to think of a conversation topic.
Fortunately, he was saved from any further awkwardness as Jessica’s phone rang. Simon recognised Bananarama’s hit; It Aint What You Do. Jessica went to silence her phone but took a look at the display and gave a quick apology before answering the call.
"Hi, Mum? Yes, that’s fine. Thanks… Also, it looks like it might rain later so I’ll need you pop round and bring my washing in… No, I’m out with someone and I may not be back until late. Or early,” she smiled coyly at Simon and his heart swelled with expectation, coupled with a plunging anxiety. It was fortunate that he’d booked a room for the night, although Jessica didn’t know that. Maybe she was just assuming he had? Was that what people did on first dates these days? He wiped his clammy hands on his trousers as Jessica finished the call. When he’d booked the room Simon wasn’t really expecting anything to happen but he’d applied the following logic: It was best to get a room and not need it rather than need a room and nothave one. He’d certainly made the right decision there, he congratulated himself.
This could be a result!
The dialogue between him and Jessica became a little more natural when they were seated at their table. A warm buzz of conversation drifted through the old English restaurant. An irrational fear that the other diners would be watching him on his date and listening into his conversation momentarily pulled at Simon but another gulp of Champagne helped to banish that thought. The other diners, Simon observed, were mainly couples, with the odd larger group celebrating a birthday or family event. The traditional décor spoke to the high-end clientele who must frequent places like this. Simon would never normally come somewhere as intimidating as this but Jessica, he noticed, seemed very confident and at home as if she ate out all the time.
“So,” Jessica asked enthusiastically, “How long have you been on Dream Date?”
“Oh, not long” Simon replied, wondering what the idealresponse to that question should be. If he’d been on there a long time would she think he was only after one thing? Or would that suggest there was something wrong with him for not finding anyone sooner?
“This is my first date from them” he blushed, hoping the truth would be acceptable.
“Wow, how lucky is that!” Jessica exclaimed. “Your first match and we win the Dream Date Experience for this month! I’d never normally be able to afford to come to a place like this. It’s a bit posh for me.” She pulled a face and laughed self-deprecatingly. Her laugh was nice. It was natural and contagious.
"No, we're really lucky" Simon agreed, taking a sip of his drink while he wondered how to elaborate on the topic. DreamDate.com had monthly competitions where one lucky couple were matched and had their first date together for free in a five-star hotel. Winning this experience at Chewton Glen was pretty lucky indeed, thought Simon. But having a date with a woman as beautiful as you is the true prize. He almost said that out loud but stopped himself just in time for fear it may sound a little too cheesy. It had been some time since he last been in a relationship, or even been on the dating scene. In fact, getting himself a girlfriend had been Simon’s New Year’s resolution for the last four years. Now finally, thanks to DreamDate.com he was getting closer to his goal.
Jessica was older than he was by at least fifteen years. She was in her mid-forties, although she could pass for her early thirties, easily. She was shorter than he was; her petite figure was probably just over five feet tall. Her hair was typically Asian – long, straight and black. She had a red silk scarf around her neck, below which she wore a white fluffy top with a cat on the front. Her face was nice, friendly. She wasn’t wearing any make-up but in Simon’s opinion, she didn’t need it.
“I’ve not had much luck with men” Jessica filled the silence. “Yet, funnily enough, all my friends still come to me for relationship advice. They’re always moaning about their other halves and sharing all their woes. I tell you, I’ve had some right plonkers in my time. Most of the men I’ve ended up with have either been really boring, really tight and stingy or they’ve had some kind of gross habits. This one guy I was seeing recently had really hairy toes! Aww, I don’t like feet at the best of times and if a man has hairy toes it really turns my stomach.” Jessica said light-heartedly, pulling a face. Simon felt himself flushing red again but quickly recovered by saying “That’s fine, my toes are all hairless.”
“That’s alright then. You seem alright so far,” She smiled coyly. “So, you work in IT? What’s that like?”
“It’s not very interesting”.
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Erm,” he went to push his glasses up his nose, forgetting he was wearing contact lenses tonight. “Well, it's alright really. I work for myself so my boss is a pretty good bloke”, he tried a joke and was relieved to see her smile. In fact, she did more than smile, she laughed. She had a sense of humour.
Result!
Simon quickly tried to retrieve some more jokes from his memory while Jessica signalled for the waiter and asked him to bring over a bottle of water for the table.
Pouring him a glass behind the bread basket on the table Jessica asked about Simon’s family. He explained he was an only child. His parents had also passed away relatively young. He had a few friends though; people he was still in touch with from school as well as a few colleagues he’d worked with in the past. He hadn’t told any of them about this date because it was best to keep it to himself. If things worked out well, then he’d tell them about Jessica, but if not, it was best they didn’t know because they’d probably just take the piss.
For her main course, Jessica ordered the lobster. “I love my food really fresh and this looks delicious” she smiled. “I do like my food.”
Simon hadn’t had lobster before but he didn’t like the idea of it. He didn’t like rich foods like that. Instead, he opted for the safe option of freshly caught cod and potato wedges. He admitted he wasn’t very adventurous with his food and thought he caught a slight look of disappointment cross Jessica’s face. She poured two more glasses of champagne and Simon noticed again how fizzy his glass was as she handed it back to him. He liked the way she took control of things such as their drinks, speaking to the waiter and guiding the conversation. She wasn’t just a MILF, Simon reflected. She was also quite ‘Mumsie’. He liked her even more for that.
Desert arrived a little while later. Jessica had ordered the cheese board for them to share. Even though Simon only had two glasses of champagne Simon was feeling quite light-headed. He could normally handle his alcohol but he put this down to first-date nerves. He could only manage one small cracker from the platter, so it was down to Jessica to finish it off, which she did in no time.
“Oh, I love a bit of John Cleese,” she giggled whilst hoovering up the last few crumbs. She must have seen the confusion on Simon’s face because she quickly added “John Cleese – Cheese. I could quite happily live on Brie. That was delicious. In fact, it was so nice I could quite happily eat it all again.”
Jessica asked more questions about Simon and as they chatted away Simon relaxed more and more and soon found that he’d switched off from the other diners and wasn’t really aware of them anymore.
After a while, Jessica excused herself and went to the ladies, after asking Simon to order her a Bailey’s coffee if the waiter came by. Simon sat at the table waiting. They’d finished the water and he was starting to feel quite thirsty. There was no sign of the waiter but Jessica she still had half a glass of champagne left. He didn’t think she’d miss it so he quickly reached across and drank it. It tasted different from his drink. It tasted more like lemonade than champagne, but he was no expert. There was no point dwelling on it because he didn’t want to lose the warm relaxing glow that was radiating through him. His head swam and he felt a stupid grin cover his face as he evaluated the date so far. It seemed was going well. They both liked cats’, both loved 80’s music and they both agreed that Roger Moore was the best James Bond!
As time went by Simon felt himself becoming more self-conscious. He caught himself casting nervous glances around the restaurant. Jessica should have been back by now. Sitting at the table alone was getting uncomfortable. He could feel eyes watching him. Where was she? Had she decided to leave early and not tell him? Or maybe she’d decided to go to his room? Yes…Maybe she was already up there waiting for him and he hadn’t picked up on some subtle signal? Maybe, he momentarily indulged himself; she’d want to punish him for keeping her waiting? How he’d love to be put across her knee.
What a result that would be! It probably wasn’t the case but still, he needed to know where she was.
After another moment of deliberation, Simon made up his mind and got up from his chair. He’d stood up too quickly because his head swam as he apologetically shuffled his way between the tables towards the back of the restaurant. The double doors beneath the toilet sign opened onto a long oak-panelled corridor. His feet almost sank into the red and gold carpet and he had a sudden urge to take his shoes off. As the doors closed behind him the murmur of the restaurant and occasional rattle of cutlery faded away into silence. The corridor was warm and inviting and he could easily be the only person here. With that thought he quickened his pace, not pausing to look at the expensive-looking paintings that lined the corridor. He climbed a flight of stairs feeling a familiar self-conscious sense of hyper-alertness and quickened his pace. The stairs took him to the first floor where he was faced with an identical hallway. Simon followed it for several meters before it turned to the right and then turned to the left where he found a small flight of stairs which ended at a closed door. The sign on the door read ‘Staff only’.
Simon sighed in frustration but fortunately, there was no one around to notice he’d gone the wrong way. The temperature seemed to have increased so Simon undid a button on his shirt. As he did so he became aware of the deepening silence in this part of the building. It was so quiet. There were no voices, no doors swishing open and closed and no creaking floorboards. His breathing was the only thing he could hear and it was loud, too loud.
He must have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way. There hadn’t been any other signs for the toilets and there hadn’t been any other doors or connecting corridors either. When he got back to the main staircase he noticed a sign on the wall which read; ‘Floor 13’. That didn’t make any sense. There weren’t thirteen floors here! There were three at most. Plus, he’d been on the ground floor restaurant and only walked up one flight.
Simon looked around before slowly descending the stairs but when he got to the next floor the sign said ‘Floor 12’.
No way! This isn’t right.
Heat flushed through Simon again and not just from the warm hallway. Maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much champagne?
Two glasses?He couldn’t have gotten lost because he’d only been down this one corridor.
The restaurant should be down here!He ignored the stairs and followed the gold-patterned carpet around a corner and along a little way further until he came to a set of double doors with polished brass handles. The restaurant should have been on the other side but when he opened them there was just another corridor, stretching away for some distance until it turned into another staircase. Simon stared at it for a moment before stepping away and letting the doors swing closed. There was no way of telling where it led. There were no signs anywhere and the only things on the walls were the paintings. He glanced at one of them and immediately recoiled.
The picture depicted a grand bedroom. In the background, an open door led into an en-suite bathroom while in the foreground was a large four-poster bed. A man lay naked on the bed, looking away from the bathroom and out of the painting. His wide eyes frightened were pleading for help. Both his hands were bound together but raised as if in prayer, begging to be saved. The reason for his fear was behind him in the bathroom. He could make out a dark haired woman dressed in white leaning over a bath. Water was splashing over the sides and someone’s hands and feet could be seen thrashing in the air from inside the bathtub. From the way the woman was leaning over it, it was clear she was holding that person under the water. She was drowning them and the man on the bed knew he’d be next. It was an unusual image to have in a hotel. Quite gruesome, some might think. Simon continued to look at the painting a while longer, his eyes lingering on the woman. Slowly he became aware of another figure in the picture. Hiding behind the bathroom door, almost out of sight, was a shadowy creature. For a moment Simon wondered if it had been there earlier. It was silly, but he could’ve sworn it hadn’t there a minute ago. He quickly dismissed the thought and considered the thing behind the door. It was no bigger than three feet and had a sinister goat-like head. Beneath its twisting horns, two red eyes gleefully observed the woman murdering the man in the bathroom. Even though it was only hiding and watching, Simon felt the wickedness emanating from the horned creature. He didn’t know if the man on the bed knew the thing was in the room but, somehow, Simon felt certain the woman was aware of its presence.
Time to get back and find my date!
Simon began walking back toward the stairs. His head was still buzzing and he could do with a sit-down but a vague urgency was beginning to take hold and he had to force himself not to run. It felt like he was trespassing in this part of the hotel and he should get back to the main part before he got into trouble. He was about to descend the stairs when he spotted a lift just off to the side in a slight recess. He hadn’t noticed its shiny gold doors earlier; probably because he’d been too wrapped up in his own stupid head to notice. After pressing the ‘Call’ button he checked his phone. It had one bar. If the worst came to the worst he could always phone Reception and ask for directions back. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Jessica had probably got back to the table now and she was wondering where he was. She may even think that he’d left. He began pacing up and down until a soft chime heralded the lifts arrival.
The red display in the lift also said he was on the 12thFloor. He pressed the button for the Ground Floor and felt the lift descend. Counting the levels Simon’s head began swirling again. It only lasted a moment and when it had gone Simon noticed the painting on the back wall of the lift. It was in a similarly extravagant frame to the others that lined the corridors. With nothing better to do he took a moment to study it, and found it just as disturbing as the last: It was night time and a large moon bathed a clearing in the woods with its pale light. Three naked figures lay next to each other on the ground with their heads nearest to the edge of the painting and their feet pointing back towards the trees in the background. They each had their hands and feet tied to stakes in the earth so their bodies formed a letter ‘X’. The man on the left was surrounded by people dressed in white gowns. They were gathered over him on all fours like a pack of animals where they feasted. Their faces were buried in his torso, tearing away his skin with their bloodied teeth. Blood covered their faces, matting their hair and staining their gowns as they ripped at his raw flesh and gnawed on exposed muscle. The man in the middle wasn’t quite dead, but he soon would be. There was a familiar-looking woman also dressed in white. Simon was sure she was in the same woman from the previous painting, although he didn’t know why because her face had been hidden in the last one. She was dressed in the same pristine gown. Her dark hair hung down to her shoulders framing her cute round face. Up close she looked a little like Jessica. The woman was looking out of the painting as if staring right at Simon. It felt as if she could see him watching her. She would have been quite attractive, Simon pondered, if it hadn’t have been for the fact that her eyes were totally black.
Who am I kidding? Simon quietly admitted to himself. She is still attractive, especially because of what she’s doing.The woman had one foot on the unfortunate man’s chest while she strained backwards, pulling hard on a rope, which was tied in a noose around his neck. His eyes bulged outwards as the taught rope cut off the blood supply to his brain, slowly killing him. The final figure was struggling against his bonds and like the unfortunate fellow in the previous painting he was also looking out of the picture as if he too could see Simon. Only, instead of asking for help, this man’s expression was more instructing. He was shouting. Gesturing with his head and yelling at whoever was looking at the picture to go away.
Run! Get away while you can!His eyes seemed to bore into Simon’s and he had to cast his gaze away. As he did so Simon spotted the devil-creature again. Just like last time, it was hiding, this time behind a tree, eagerly watching the murderous ceremony unfold. Had it really been there all the time? It couldn’t have just appeared from nowhere. That’s ridiculous, Simon reassured himself.
Then the creature moved. One moment it was watching the woman. The next, it was looking at Simon. He flinched backwards. Risking another look Simon saw he’d been mistaken. The goat-like creature was looking both out of the picture and at the violence in the foreground. Still, this picture just didn’t make sense!
Chill. It’s not real. Simon decided to avert his eyes and stared down at the floor until the lift began to slow down as it reached Floor 1. Then it went to the Ground Floor but kept going down.
No! This wasn’t funny anymore. The left stopped at the next floor down which was marked as Floor DD.
What does DD stand for?The doors silently slid opened onto another corridor, identical to the ones he’d just left upstairs. The same plush red and gold carpet stretched outwards. The same dark oak panels lined the walls displaying more of those strange paintings. From his position in the lift, Simon could see the nearest two pictures. They also depicted strange and bizarre scenes of mutilation, torment, and death. That woman was there again and Simon knew if he looked closer he’d find that devil-creature hiding in the background again. He pressed the button for the Ground Floor but the lift didn’t move. He stayed there for several minutes but nothing happened.
There was no choice but to look around and find another way up. There were no stairs at the side of the lift so he’d have to go exploring and try to find the staircase.
This is stupid!He took his phone out and saw it no longer had any signal.
Now that’s just great!At that moment lift doors slid closed behind him. He spun around but he was too slow. He watched the display above the doors show the lift moving up the Ground Floor.
Damn it! Simon was sweating now; he peeled his shirt off his back as he hurried down the corridor. He needed to find some help. He knocked on the door of a room in his right, not really sure what he’d say if anyone answered. No one did answer. Keeping his eyes averted from the paintings he tried the one next door but again there was no response. He tried the next one with mounting anxiety. The corridor seemed to warp and sway before him and he now felt quite drunk. Simon needed to get out of there. When there was no answer from the room next door he tried the handle, just in case and to his surprise it opened. Quickly, he slipped inside, not caring if anyone caught him. After switching on the light he spotted the phone on the table beside a large double bed. There was no dial tone when he picked up the phone. He slammed the receiver down and paced down the side of the bed. There weren’t even any windows he could climb out of. Desperation was taking hold now.
Where the hell am I? Why can’t I get back to the restaurant?He sat down at the vanity table and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He needed to think. As he moved his hands away he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t look good. It was too late now anyway. It no longer mattered what Jessica thought of him, she’d be long gone now. She’s not interested in me, he sighed heavily. I couldn’t compete with her. She’s way out of my league. Tonight has been a complete waste of time. As soon as I get out of here I’m going home. Jessica can do what she likes but she’s probably already gone anyway.
Simon sat staring at himself for several long seconds before reconsidering.
Actually, forget that he told himself defiantly.I’m here at this really nice hotel on a date with a really fit woman. She’s nice and she laughs at my jokes. So stay positive and take the win!With a broadening smile, he started flattening his hair and wiped the sheen of sweat from his forehead. As he did so he noticed something odd with the mirror. His reflection wasn’t moving in time with him. Simon lifted his hand and his reflection did the same but a split second later. He stared hard and waved his hand again. The mirror image copied but again it was a moment after. Simon pushed himself away from the mirror. A whole second later and the Simon in the mirror pushed himself backwards.What was happening?His reflection stared back but then it started to smile. The mouth of the Mirror-Simon opened wider and the smile became a laugh; a silent mocking laugh behind the glass. Simon watched as his reflection’s eyes began to turn red. Blood began dripping from his forehead as a pair of pointy brown horns forced their way through the skin of his forehead and began twisting upwards. The Mirror-Simon’s jaw began extending forward while its nose flattened. Black fur sprouted all over its face as it took on a more goat-like appearance. Simon’s skin prickled and he suddenly felt very cold. The sweat was now freezing down his back. The devil-creature in the mirror began to lean forward, his head coming closer and closer to the surface of the mirror. It was about to climb out of the mirror and into the bedroom. Simon hurried for the door, half expecting it to slam shut in his face. It didn’t and as he burst into the corridor he caught a glimpse of someone going into the room next door.
Jessica!
“Jessica” he called, leaping after her and almost stumbling into the room. She was talking on her mobile but she ended the call as she turned to him. This room was identical to the last one, except for a couple of red silk scarfs, like the one around her neck, lying on the bed.
“I was looking for you”, Simon managed between gasps.
“Oh, you needn’t have worried; I had a call from my friend.”
“Jessica. We need to get back to the restaurant.”
“Are you still hungry? Great, I’m sure I could squeeze in another morsel.” She laughed rubbing her stomach.
She didn’t understand.
“I don’t know how to get back up there” Simon explained, no longer caring how foolish he sounded. “I even tried calling Reception but my phone doesn’t work. Nothing works here. The lift said I was on the 13thFloor, but there aren’t thirteen floors! This place isn’t that big! And, there's something strange about that room next door. Let's just go shall we, this place is weird. It's not right.”
Jessica smiled sympathetically, placing her placing her hands on his shoulders. The vanilla scent of her hand cream was strong as she guided him further into the room and sat him down on the bed.
“Are you all right?” she asked. “You look a bit flushed to me.”
“I’m fine”
Jessica held his gaze and slowly shook her head. “Don’t worry; it’s just a little something I slipped into your drink.”
Simon looked up at her and again noticed how the room was slowly revolving around him.
“I find it’s the best way to subdue our food.”
Simon must have misheard her but then she made a gesture in the air with her hands as if she were conducting an orchestra. Immediately the silk scarfs on the bed jerked to life. They began moving on their own, snaking across the bed and wrapping themselves around his wrists. By the time his brain had processed what was happening they were securely tied around each wrist. He struggled but couldn’t get free. When he looked down he saw another scarf had his legs bound together. Jessica put her hand to his chest and pushed him down onto the bed. The scarf’s pulled his limbs, stretching him into a ‘Y’ shape.
“Right, just hold still for me,” Jessica instructed. She produced a long wicked-looking knife from somewhere and laid it on the bed next to him. Simon looked from the knife back up at Jessica.
“What’s going on? This is supposed to be a fun Dream Date, not… ”.
“Oh Simon, you don’t understand, but that’s alright. Here,” Jessica explained as she sat astride him and placed her hands around his neck. “This isn’t yourDream Date. It’s mineand I’m having great fun, although I am still very hungry.”
With that, Simon felt her thumbs press down on his Adam’s apple so he couldn’t breathe. As her grip tightened and black stars began to burst in front of his eyes, one word drifted into Simon’s mind. One final thought before the darkness took him.
Result!
A moment later and Jessica turned around and passed him his champagne flute. The drink in his glass was fizzing a lot and he guessed this must be a sign of its quality. He didn’t drink much champagne. He took a big gulp to ease his suddenly dry throat while he tried to think of a conversation topic.
Fortunately, he was saved from any further awkwardness as Jessica’s phone rang. Simon recognised Bananarama’s hit; It Aint What You Do. Jessica went to silence her phone but took a look at the display and gave a quick apology before answering the call.
"Hi, Mum? Yes, that’s fine. Thanks… Also, it looks like it might rain later so I’ll need you pop round and bring my washing in… No, I’m out with someone and I may not be back until late. Or early,” she smiled coyly at Simon and his heart swelled with expectation, coupled with a plunging anxiety. It was fortunate that he’d booked a room for the night, although Jessica didn’t know that. Maybe she was just assuming he had? Was that what people did on first dates these days? He wiped his clammy hands on his trousers as Jessica finished the call. When he’d booked the room Simon wasn’t really expecting anything to happen but he’d applied the following logic: It was best to get a room and not need it rather than need a room and nothave one. He’d certainly made the right decision there, he congratulated himself.
This could be a result!
The dialogue between him and Jessica became a little more natural when they were seated at their table. A warm buzz of conversation drifted through the old English restaurant. An irrational fear that the other diners would be watching him on his date and listening into his conversation momentarily pulled at Simon but another gulp of Champagne helped to banish that thought. The other diners, Simon observed, were mainly couples, with the odd larger group celebrating a birthday or family event. The traditional décor spoke to the high-end clientele who must frequent places like this. Simon would never normally come somewhere as intimidating as this but Jessica, he noticed, seemed very confident and at home as if she ate out all the time.
“So,” Jessica asked enthusiastically, “How long have you been on Dream Date?”
“Oh, not long” Simon replied, wondering what the idealresponse to that question should be. If he’d been on there a long time would she think he was only after one thing? Or would that suggest there was something wrong with him for not finding anyone sooner?
“This is my first date from them” he blushed, hoping the truth would be acceptable.
“Wow, how lucky is that!” Jessica exclaimed. “Your first match and we win the Dream Date Experience for this month! I’d never normally be able to afford to come to a place like this. It’s a bit posh for me.” She pulled a face and laughed self-deprecatingly. Her laugh was nice. It was natural and contagious.
"No, we're really lucky" Simon agreed, taking a sip of his drink while he wondered how to elaborate on the topic. DreamDate.com had monthly competitions where one lucky couple were matched and had their first date together for free in a five-star hotel. Winning this experience at Chewton Glen was pretty lucky indeed, thought Simon. But having a date with a woman as beautiful as you is the true prize. He almost said that out loud but stopped himself just in time for fear it may sound a little too cheesy. It had been some time since he last been in a relationship, or even been on the dating scene. In fact, getting himself a girlfriend had been Simon’s New Year’s resolution for the last four years. Now finally, thanks to DreamDate.com he was getting closer to his goal.
Jessica was older than he was by at least fifteen years. She was in her mid-forties, although she could pass for her early thirties, easily. She was shorter than he was; her petite figure was probably just over five feet tall. Her hair was typically Asian – long, straight and black. She had a red silk scarf around her neck, below which she wore a white fluffy top with a cat on the front. Her face was nice, friendly. She wasn’t wearing any make-up but in Simon’s opinion, she didn’t need it.
“I’ve not had much luck with men” Jessica filled the silence. “Yet, funnily enough, all my friends still come to me for relationship advice. They’re always moaning about their other halves and sharing all their woes. I tell you, I’ve had some right plonkers in my time. Most of the men I’ve ended up with have either been really boring, really tight and stingy or they’ve had some kind of gross habits. This one guy I was seeing recently had really hairy toes! Aww, I don’t like feet at the best of times and if a man has hairy toes it really turns my stomach.” Jessica said light-heartedly, pulling a face. Simon felt himself flushing red again but quickly recovered by saying “That’s fine, my toes are all hairless.”
“That’s alright then. You seem alright so far,” She smiled coyly. “So, you work in IT? What’s that like?”
“It’s not very interesting”.
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Erm,” he went to push his glasses up his nose, forgetting he was wearing contact lenses tonight. “Well, it's alright really. I work for myself so my boss is a pretty good bloke”, he tried a joke and was relieved to see her smile. In fact, she did more than smile, she laughed. She had a sense of humour.
Result!
Simon quickly tried to retrieve some more jokes from his memory while Jessica signalled for the waiter and asked him to bring over a bottle of water for the table.
Pouring him a glass behind the bread basket on the table Jessica asked about Simon’s family. He explained he was an only child. His parents had also passed away relatively young. He had a few friends though; people he was still in touch with from school as well as a few colleagues he’d worked with in the past. He hadn’t told any of them about this date because it was best to keep it to himself. If things worked out well, then he’d tell them about Jessica, but if not, it was best they didn’t know because they’d probably just take the piss.
For her main course, Jessica ordered the lobster. “I love my food really fresh and this looks delicious” she smiled. “I do like my food.”
Simon hadn’t had lobster before but he didn’t like the idea of it. He didn’t like rich foods like that. Instead, he opted for the safe option of freshly caught cod and potato wedges. He admitted he wasn’t very adventurous with his food and thought he caught a slight look of disappointment cross Jessica’s face. She poured two more glasses of champagne and Simon noticed again how fizzy his glass was as she handed it back to him. He liked the way she took control of things such as their drinks, speaking to the waiter and guiding the conversation. She wasn’t just a MILF, Simon reflected. She was also quite ‘Mumsie’. He liked her even more for that.
Desert arrived a little while later. Jessica had ordered the cheese board for them to share. Even though Simon only had two glasses of champagne Simon was feeling quite light-headed. He could normally handle his alcohol but he put this down to first-date nerves. He could only manage one small cracker from the platter, so it was down to Jessica to finish it off, which she did in no time.
“Oh, I love a bit of John Cleese,” she giggled whilst hoovering up the last few crumbs. She must have seen the confusion on Simon’s face because she quickly added “John Cleese – Cheese. I could quite happily live on Brie. That was delicious. In fact, it was so nice I could quite happily eat it all again.”
Jessica asked more questions about Simon and as they chatted away Simon relaxed more and more and soon found that he’d switched off from the other diners and wasn’t really aware of them anymore.
After a while, Jessica excused herself and went to the ladies, after asking Simon to order her a Bailey’s coffee if the waiter came by. Simon sat at the table waiting. They’d finished the water and he was starting to feel quite thirsty. There was no sign of the waiter but Jessica she still had half a glass of champagne left. He didn’t think she’d miss it so he quickly reached across and drank it. It tasted different from his drink. It tasted more like lemonade than champagne, but he was no expert. There was no point dwelling on it because he didn’t want to lose the warm relaxing glow that was radiating through him. His head swam and he felt a stupid grin cover his face as he evaluated the date so far. It seemed was going well. They both liked cats’, both loved 80’s music and they both agreed that Roger Moore was the best James Bond!
As time went by Simon felt himself becoming more self-conscious. He caught himself casting nervous glances around the restaurant. Jessica should have been back by now. Sitting at the table alone was getting uncomfortable. He could feel eyes watching him. Where was she? Had she decided to leave early and not tell him? Or maybe she’d decided to go to his room? Yes…Maybe she was already up there waiting for him and he hadn’t picked up on some subtle signal? Maybe, he momentarily indulged himself; she’d want to punish him for keeping her waiting? How he’d love to be put across her knee.
What a result that would be! It probably wasn’t the case but still, he needed to know where she was.
After another moment of deliberation, Simon made up his mind and got up from his chair. He’d stood up too quickly because his head swam as he apologetically shuffled his way between the tables towards the back of the restaurant. The double doors beneath the toilet sign opened onto a long oak-panelled corridor. His feet almost sank into the red and gold carpet and he had a sudden urge to take his shoes off. As the doors closed behind him the murmur of the restaurant and occasional rattle of cutlery faded away into silence. The corridor was warm and inviting and he could easily be the only person here. With that thought he quickened his pace, not pausing to look at the expensive-looking paintings that lined the corridor. He climbed a flight of stairs feeling a familiar self-conscious sense of hyper-alertness and quickened his pace. The stairs took him to the first floor where he was faced with an identical hallway. Simon followed it for several meters before it turned to the right and then turned to the left where he found a small flight of stairs which ended at a closed door. The sign on the door read ‘Staff only’.
Simon sighed in frustration but fortunately, there was no one around to notice he’d gone the wrong way. The temperature seemed to have increased so Simon undid a button on his shirt. As he did so he became aware of the deepening silence in this part of the building. It was so quiet. There were no voices, no doors swishing open and closed and no creaking floorboards. His breathing was the only thing he could hear and it was loud, too loud.
He must have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way. There hadn’t been any other signs for the toilets and there hadn’t been any other doors or connecting corridors either. When he got back to the main staircase he noticed a sign on the wall which read; ‘Floor 13’. That didn’t make any sense. There weren’t thirteen floors here! There were three at most. Plus, he’d been on the ground floor restaurant and only walked up one flight.
Simon looked around before slowly descending the stairs but when he got to the next floor the sign said ‘Floor 12’.
No way! This isn’t right.
Heat flushed through Simon again and not just from the warm hallway. Maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much champagne?
Two glasses?He couldn’t have gotten lost because he’d only been down this one corridor.
The restaurant should be down here!He ignored the stairs and followed the gold-patterned carpet around a corner and along a little way further until he came to a set of double doors with polished brass handles. The restaurant should have been on the other side but when he opened them there was just another corridor, stretching away for some distance until it turned into another staircase. Simon stared at it for a moment before stepping away and letting the doors swing closed. There was no way of telling where it led. There were no signs anywhere and the only things on the walls were the paintings. He glanced at one of them and immediately recoiled.
The picture depicted a grand bedroom. In the background, an open door led into an en-suite bathroom while in the foreground was a large four-poster bed. A man lay naked on the bed, looking away from the bathroom and out of the painting. His wide eyes frightened were pleading for help. Both his hands were bound together but raised as if in prayer, begging to be saved. The reason for his fear was behind him in the bathroom. He could make out a dark haired woman dressed in white leaning over a bath. Water was splashing over the sides and someone’s hands and feet could be seen thrashing in the air from inside the bathtub. From the way the woman was leaning over it, it was clear she was holding that person under the water. She was drowning them and the man on the bed knew he’d be next. It was an unusual image to have in a hotel. Quite gruesome, some might think. Simon continued to look at the painting a while longer, his eyes lingering on the woman. Slowly he became aware of another figure in the picture. Hiding behind the bathroom door, almost out of sight, was a shadowy creature. For a moment Simon wondered if it had been there earlier. It was silly, but he could’ve sworn it hadn’t there a minute ago. He quickly dismissed the thought and considered the thing behind the door. It was no bigger than three feet and had a sinister goat-like head. Beneath its twisting horns, two red eyes gleefully observed the woman murdering the man in the bathroom. Even though it was only hiding and watching, Simon felt the wickedness emanating from the horned creature. He didn’t know if the man on the bed knew the thing was in the room but, somehow, Simon felt certain the woman was aware of its presence.
Time to get back and find my date!
Simon began walking back toward the stairs. His head was still buzzing and he could do with a sit-down but a vague urgency was beginning to take hold and he had to force himself not to run. It felt like he was trespassing in this part of the hotel and he should get back to the main part before he got into trouble. He was about to descend the stairs when he spotted a lift just off to the side in a slight recess. He hadn’t noticed its shiny gold doors earlier; probably because he’d been too wrapped up in his own stupid head to notice. After pressing the ‘Call’ button he checked his phone. It had one bar. If the worst came to the worst he could always phone Reception and ask for directions back. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Jessica had probably got back to the table now and she was wondering where he was. She may even think that he’d left. He began pacing up and down until a soft chime heralded the lifts arrival.
The red display in the lift also said he was on the 12thFloor. He pressed the button for the Ground Floor and felt the lift descend. Counting the levels Simon’s head began swirling again. It only lasted a moment and when it had gone Simon noticed the painting on the back wall of the lift. It was in a similarly extravagant frame to the others that lined the corridors. With nothing better to do he took a moment to study it, and found it just as disturbing as the last: It was night time and a large moon bathed a clearing in the woods with its pale light. Three naked figures lay next to each other on the ground with their heads nearest to the edge of the painting and their feet pointing back towards the trees in the background. They each had their hands and feet tied to stakes in the earth so their bodies formed a letter ‘X’. The man on the left was surrounded by people dressed in white gowns. They were gathered over him on all fours like a pack of animals where they feasted. Their faces were buried in his torso, tearing away his skin with their bloodied teeth. Blood covered their faces, matting their hair and staining their gowns as they ripped at his raw flesh and gnawed on exposed muscle. The man in the middle wasn’t quite dead, but he soon would be. There was a familiar-looking woman also dressed in white. Simon was sure she was in the same woman from the previous painting, although he didn’t know why because her face had been hidden in the last one. She was dressed in the same pristine gown. Her dark hair hung down to her shoulders framing her cute round face. Up close she looked a little like Jessica. The woman was looking out of the painting as if staring right at Simon. It felt as if she could see him watching her. She would have been quite attractive, Simon pondered, if it hadn’t have been for the fact that her eyes were totally black.
Who am I kidding? Simon quietly admitted to himself. She is still attractive, especially because of what she’s doing.The woman had one foot on the unfortunate man’s chest while she strained backwards, pulling hard on a rope, which was tied in a noose around his neck. His eyes bulged outwards as the taught rope cut off the blood supply to his brain, slowly killing him. The final figure was struggling against his bonds and like the unfortunate fellow in the previous painting he was also looking out of the picture as if he too could see Simon. Only, instead of asking for help, this man’s expression was more instructing. He was shouting. Gesturing with his head and yelling at whoever was looking at the picture to go away.
Run! Get away while you can!His eyes seemed to bore into Simon’s and he had to cast his gaze away. As he did so Simon spotted the devil-creature again. Just like last time, it was hiding, this time behind a tree, eagerly watching the murderous ceremony unfold. Had it really been there all the time? It couldn’t have just appeared from nowhere. That’s ridiculous, Simon reassured himself.
Then the creature moved. One moment it was watching the woman. The next, it was looking at Simon. He flinched backwards. Risking another look Simon saw he’d been mistaken. The goat-like creature was looking both out of the picture and at the violence in the foreground. Still, this picture just didn’t make sense!
Chill. It’s not real. Simon decided to avert his eyes and stared down at the floor until the lift began to slow down as it reached Floor 1. Then it went to the Ground Floor but kept going down.
No! This wasn’t funny anymore. The left stopped at the next floor down which was marked as Floor DD.
What does DD stand for?The doors silently slid opened onto another corridor, identical to the ones he’d just left upstairs. The same plush red and gold carpet stretched outwards. The same dark oak panels lined the walls displaying more of those strange paintings. From his position in the lift, Simon could see the nearest two pictures. They also depicted strange and bizarre scenes of mutilation, torment, and death. That woman was there again and Simon knew if he looked closer he’d find that devil-creature hiding in the background again. He pressed the button for the Ground Floor but the lift didn’t move. He stayed there for several minutes but nothing happened.
There was no choice but to look around and find another way up. There were no stairs at the side of the lift so he’d have to go exploring and try to find the staircase.
This is stupid!He took his phone out and saw it no longer had any signal.
Now that’s just great!At that moment lift doors slid closed behind him. He spun around but he was too slow. He watched the display above the doors show the lift moving up the Ground Floor.
Damn it! Simon was sweating now; he peeled his shirt off his back as he hurried down the corridor. He needed to find some help. He knocked on the door of a room in his right, not really sure what he’d say if anyone answered. No one did answer. Keeping his eyes averted from the paintings he tried the one next door but again there was no response. He tried the next one with mounting anxiety. The corridor seemed to warp and sway before him and he now felt quite drunk. Simon needed to get out of there. When there was no answer from the room next door he tried the handle, just in case and to his surprise it opened. Quickly, he slipped inside, not caring if anyone caught him. After switching on the light he spotted the phone on the table beside a large double bed. There was no dial tone when he picked up the phone. He slammed the receiver down and paced down the side of the bed. There weren’t even any windows he could climb out of. Desperation was taking hold now.
Where the hell am I? Why can’t I get back to the restaurant?He sat down at the vanity table and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He needed to think. As he moved his hands away he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t look good. It was too late now anyway. It no longer mattered what Jessica thought of him, she’d be long gone now. She’s not interested in me, he sighed heavily. I couldn’t compete with her. She’s way out of my league. Tonight has been a complete waste of time. As soon as I get out of here I’m going home. Jessica can do what she likes but she’s probably already gone anyway.
Simon sat staring at himself for several long seconds before reconsidering.
Actually, forget that he told himself defiantly.I’m here at this really nice hotel on a date with a really fit woman. She’s nice and she laughs at my jokes. So stay positive and take the win!With a broadening smile, he started flattening his hair and wiped the sheen of sweat from his forehead. As he did so he noticed something odd with the mirror. His reflection wasn’t moving in time with him. Simon lifted his hand and his reflection did the same but a split second later. He stared hard and waved his hand again. The mirror image copied but again it was a moment after. Simon pushed himself away from the mirror. A whole second later and the Simon in the mirror pushed himself backwards.What was happening?His reflection stared back but then it started to smile. The mouth of the Mirror-Simon opened wider and the smile became a laugh; a silent mocking laugh behind the glass. Simon watched as his reflection’s eyes began to turn red. Blood began dripping from his forehead as a pair of pointy brown horns forced their way through the skin of his forehead and began twisting upwards. The Mirror-Simon’s jaw began extending forward while its nose flattened. Black fur sprouted all over its face as it took on a more goat-like appearance. Simon’s skin prickled and he suddenly felt very cold. The sweat was now freezing down his back. The devil-creature in the mirror began to lean forward, his head coming closer and closer to the surface of the mirror. It was about to climb out of the mirror and into the bedroom. Simon hurried for the door, half expecting it to slam shut in his face. It didn’t and as he burst into the corridor he caught a glimpse of someone going into the room next door.
Jessica!
“Jessica” he called, leaping after her and almost stumbling into the room. She was talking on her mobile but she ended the call as she turned to him. This room was identical to the last one, except for a couple of red silk scarfs, like the one around her neck, lying on the bed.
“I was looking for you”, Simon managed between gasps.
“Oh, you needn’t have worried; I had a call from my friend.”
“Jessica. We need to get back to the restaurant.”
“Are you still hungry? Great, I’m sure I could squeeze in another morsel.” She laughed rubbing her stomach.
She didn’t understand.
“I don’t know how to get back up there” Simon explained, no longer caring how foolish he sounded. “I even tried calling Reception but my phone doesn’t work. Nothing works here. The lift said I was on the 13thFloor, but there aren’t thirteen floors! This place isn’t that big! And, there's something strange about that room next door. Let's just go shall we, this place is weird. It's not right.”
Jessica smiled sympathetically, placing her placing her hands on his shoulders. The vanilla scent of her hand cream was strong as she guided him further into the room and sat him down on the bed.
“Are you all right?” she asked. “You look a bit flushed to me.”
“I’m fine”
Jessica held his gaze and slowly shook her head. “Don’t worry; it’s just a little something I slipped into your drink.”
Simon looked up at her and again noticed how the room was slowly revolving around him.
“I find it’s the best way to subdue our food.”
Simon must have misheard her but then she made a gesture in the air with her hands as if she were conducting an orchestra. Immediately the silk scarfs on the bed jerked to life. They began moving on their own, snaking across the bed and wrapping themselves around his wrists. By the time his brain had processed what was happening they were securely tied around each wrist. He struggled but couldn’t get free. When he looked down he saw another scarf had his legs bound together. Jessica put her hand to his chest and pushed him down onto the bed. The scarf’s pulled his limbs, stretching him into a ‘Y’ shape.
“Right, just hold still for me,” Jessica instructed. She produced a long wicked-looking knife from somewhere and laid it on the bed next to him. Simon looked from the knife back up at Jessica.
“What’s going on? This is supposed to be a fun Dream Date, not… ”.
“Oh Simon, you don’t understand, but that’s alright. Here,” Jessica explained as she sat astride him and placed her hands around his neck. “This isn’t yourDream Date. It’s mineand I’m having great fun, although I am still very hungry.”
With that, Simon felt her thumbs press down on his Adam’s apple so he couldn’t breathe. As her grip tightened and black stars began to burst in front of his eyes, one word drifted into Simon’s mind. One final thought before the darkness took him.
Result!